Zoids: FUBAR
by Damn-my-name-was-taken
Summary: What do a fashion queen, a thief, a rookie, a jackass, a stud, and a senior warrior have in common? Well, you’ll just have to find out wontcha? PLEASE R&R!
1. Chapter 1

What do a fashion queen, a thief, a rookie, a jackass, a stud, and a senior warrior have in common? Well, you'll just have to find out wontcha?

But first, I shall go through the motions of explaining the recent happenings on Zi. It's only been a month since the Blitz Team set the Backdraft straight and saved the Battle Commission from being blow to bits by Vega's Berserk Fuher. They have moved up into the class S thanks to the Liger Zero and its pilot, Bit Cloud.

But was the Backdraft really gone? They haven't shown their face since their humiliating defeat, but does that mean they've given up hope of ever taking over the continent, or does it just mean that they've gone into hiding for a short period to create a better plan?

Well don't ask me! Do I look like a member of the Backdraft group to you!?!

So what do a fashion queen, a thief, a rookie, a jackass, a stud, and a senior warrior have in common? Well let me rephrase the question.

What do you get when you cross a fashion queen, a thief, a rookie, a jackass, a stud, and a senior warrior? The ultimate zoids team! That's what!

Zoids: FUBAR

Chapter One

Diego

I cranked up the volume on my headphones. Loud music helps me think. It keeps me calm under these situations. The last thing I need is to freak out.

_It's just on of those days_

_When you don't wanna wake up,_

I breathed deeply. This is gonna be harder than I thought. Apparently after Sven stole from these guys they cranked up security. Not like it's surprising...

_Everything is fucked,_

_Everybody sucks!_

But damn. This is an army of people with guns! I'm not so sure I can pull this shit off anymore. These guys'll shoot me on the spot!

_You don't really know why,_

_But you wanna justify_

_Rippin' someone's head off!_

No! I can't back off now. I've never failed a job before, so I'm not about to start anytime soon. All I have to do is take my time and think. I cranked the volume up some more.

_No human contact,_

_And if you interact_

_You life is on contract!_

I crept slowly around the corner, glanced both ways, and bolted to a Gun Sniper, hiding behind its massive leg.

_Your best bet is to stay away_

_Mutha fuka!_

_It's just one of those days!_

I felt my heart pound in my chest. I couldn't see any guards from this angle. I silently prayed to Eve that no one was there. This might be the last gulp of air I take....

_It's all about the he sez, she sez_

_Bullshit!_

_I think you better quit lettin' shit slip,_

_Or you'll be leavin' with a fat lip!_

I leapt out of my hiding place and ran at full tilt toward the Spinnosappa. If I could just get inside it....

_It's all about the he sez, she sez_

_Bullshit!_

_I think you better quit talkin' that shit!_

SHPOO!!

Holy shi—

That bastard tried to shoot me!!! Fear welled up inside me and my legs locked. I tripped and tumbled to the floor, banging my right knee.

"FREEZE!" I could hear a man shout.

_It's just one of those days_

_Feelin' like a freight train._

_First one to proclaim_

_Leaves with the bloodstain!_

I heard footsteps. Pretty soon I found myself surrounded by guards. I tried to move, but got a sharp pain in my knee and a gun pushed into my back in response. Rggg.... Eve. My leg....

_You're damn right I'm a maniac!_

_You better watch your back_

_Cos' I'm fuckin' up your program!_

A couple of the guards backed away toward a phone on the wall. I couldn't hear them too well over my music, but I'm sure I heard the words "young boy" and "check it out."

But they haven't won yet. I've got an ace up my sleeve.

_And if you're stuck up_

_You just lucked up,_

_Next in line to get fucked up!_

I slowly slid my hand down to my watch and hit a small red button. None of the guards seemed to notice seeing as they didn't yell or try and shoot me.

_Your best bet is to stay away_

_Mutha fuka!_

_It's just one of those days!_

SHKREEAW!!!

The loud hiss echoed throughout the garage. My reinforcements had arrived. Right on schedule....

_It's all about the he sez, she sez_

_Bullshit!_

_I think you better quit lettin' shit slip_

_Or you'll be leavin' with a fat lip!_

The sleek navy-black organoid charged onto the scene, smacking cops every which way and screeching loudly. Good job Lucifer. I can always count on you.

The security police yelled in surprise and shot wildly at my partner in crime. Lucifer hissed at them and launched himself into the air, then coming back down and melding perfectly with the Spinnosappa I was here to steal.

_It's all about the he sez, she sez_

_Bullshit!_

_I think you better quit talkin' that shit, punk!_

_So come and get it!_

The zoid came to life and lowered its giant head toward me. The cockpit opened for me. The guards were screaming in terror. Despite the pain in my leg, I managed to drag myself into the zoid. The canopy closed over me.

"Grrr.... Grar," Lucifer growled.

"Thanks Lucifer," I said. "I owe you."

He growled again. I owe him a lot and he knows it.

_I feel like shit..._

_My suggestion is to keep your distance._

_Cos' right now I'm dangerous!_

I placed my hands on the joystick. Ahhh... I love this feeling.

_We've all felt like shit_

_And been treated like shit!_

I raised the massive saws that rested on its back. I thrust them into the wall.

_All those mutha fukas,_

_They wanna step up!_

_I hope ya know_

_I pack a chainsaw!_

The wall weakened and gave. I was free! Free!

I_'ll skin your ass raw!_

Nothing could stop me!

_And if my day keeps going this way_

_I just might break something tonight!_

I looked back and saw the cops climbing into their own zoids. What makes them think they can stand up to me? I'll skin their asses raw!!!

_Give me something to break!_

_I pack a chainsaw,_

_I'll skin your ass raw!_

I charged toward them, chainsaws raised.

_And if my day keeps going this way_

_I just might break your fuckin' face tonight!_

I brought the iron weapons down hard on their zoids, practically breaking them in half! Lucifer/Spinnosappa roared happily. This is what he lives for. What all zoids live for.

Total destruction.

_Give me something to break!_

_Just give me something to break!_

_How 'bout your fuckin' face?_

Adrenaline surged through my body. Nothing could stop me! Nothing!

_I hope you know I pack a chainsaw,_

_WHAT?_

But soon there were no more opponents for me to fight. I had won. No one else was there.

_I hope you know I pack a chain saw!_

_A mother fuckin' chainsaw,_

_What?_

I slowly turned my zoid around. Time to go home.

_Come and get it!_

It was at that moment, when I about-faced, that I saw another zoid. A dangerous looking zoid. A zoid with flaming purple eyes. It lifted its head and let out a blood-curdling howl. I shivered.

_It's all about the he sez, she sez_

_Bullshit!_

_I think you better quit lettin' shit slip,_

_Or you'll be leaving with a fat lip!_

It crouched and leapt into the air. I was frozen. It was an incredible zoid. I wish I could get a good look at it, but the stormy night sky blocked out all light.

_It's all about the he sez, she sez_

_Bullshit!_

_I think you better quit talkin' that shit!_

It landed square on top of my Spinnosappa, drilling its claws into my zoid's back. My zoid—my undefeatable zoid—was gone. I could feel myself slipping away into darkness.

Darkness....

Darkness....

_So come and get it!_

(Disclaimer): So what did you guys think? You like it?

I'd like to mention that I do not own Zoids. I own a couple models, yes, but not the general idea.

While I'm at it I'll also mention that I don't own this song. This song is "Bullshit" by Limp Bizkit. I simply used it for this chapter.

The rest of the fic won't have songs unless you're in Diego's POV and he's pulling another job or is in a zoid battle.

But seriously: Who is this mystery zoid?

What happened to Diego?

What happened to his organoid, Lucifer?

All will be answered in chapter two!!!


	2. Chapter 2

(fire inu): So glad you like it! I figured that since I wasn't workin' on that last one, starting a new one was the least I could for those who enjoyed it.

(Bluefly7): I'm so glad you like it! Makes me all happy and gay!

Ok, maybe not gay. But happy. It makes me very happy. (And tell your friends!) ;)

Ha-ha! Back for another chapter! So what DID happen to our friend Diego? What the hell caused him to black out? You're about to find out. Enjoy!

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Zoids: FUBAR

Chapter 2

Clive

Damn. I didn't mean to do that. When I CSFed his zoid I didn't realize that would happen. I was foolish. I should've known. I'm too old to be making mistakes like that.

This all started when I got a phone call. A phone call from a friend of mine at the Zoids-R-Us garage. My friend is a security guard who works there. Last week someone snuck in and robbed the place of a Fire Fox, a very valuable zoid. Since then they've really tightened security. The last thing they need is another expensive zoid going missing.

So I told him that if they had any trouble at all to call me. I'm a fairly experienced warrior, so I can prove a helpful ally in battle.

But I didn't expect this.

When I got to my destination I spotted a Spinnosappa. I'll tell you what, this thing was haulin' ass. It wasn't hard to figure out who this was. It was clearly another thief.

So I attacked it. Took it down almost instantly.

But I wasn't expecting this.

When I jumped on top of it with my Konig Wolf, it still had those blasted chainsaws raised! I didn't think much of it then, but now....

When the zoid had had enough and CSFed its saws fell and this damn thing sliced open its own head!

Damn it! I could've killed that boy!

I leapt out of my zoid's cockpit and hurried over to the Spinnosappa. When I managed to open the canopy and drag the boy out, I checked his pulse....

Yes! He's still alive! I picked him up and placed him gently inside my Konig Wolf. He was young. Can't be more than seventeen years old. And he's light. I noticed that when I had to carry him. He's far too light for a boy his age.

But I'll change all that.

I know it's wrong. He should be in prison right now for attempting to steal a zoid, but he's in no condition for something like that! Plus, I've always wanted a child of my own. I guess you could call me the Father-Goose type of man.

So I left the fallen Spinnosappa and took the young man home.

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Clive

I walked silently down the hallway toward the boy's room. He's been asleep for hours, he's bound to wake up soon. I even made him soup. Mmmm....

Chicken noodle was always a favorite of mine. I hope he feels that same way. I'll be quite put out if he doesn't!

I pushed the door open with my foot. Nope. Still sleeping.

I sighed, placed the soup tray on the foot of the bed, pulled out my book, and settled down in the chair for a long night of reading.

I had just finished the first page when—

"Where the hell am I? Who the hell are you!?! WHERE THE HELL IS LUCIFER!?!?!"

I think he's awake. "Settle down boyo!" I told him. "You don't want to knock your soup over do you?"

He relaxed physically, but his eyes were wild and terrified. "Who the hell are you?" he asked through clenched teeth.

"I am your friend, boyo. Eat some soup."

"I don't want your damned soup!" he hollered. "Who are you and where is Lucifer!?!"

"I'm not familiar with this 'Lucifer person,'" I said. "My name is Clive Felleman. Would you be so kind as to tell me yours?"

"Where am I?" he demanded. "Where the hell am I!?!"

"Stop your yelling! Now tell my, boyo, what is your name and who is this Lucifer person?"

He gave my a scornful look, but answered, "My name is Diego. Lucifer is a good friend of mine. Do you know where he is... please?"

"Now we're getting somewhere." I passed him the soup. "Eat. I'll explain everything."

He looked skeptical. "Boyo, if I wanted to kill you I would've done it long ago while you were sleeping! Not with poison soup!"

He took the soup from my hands and cautiously took a taste. He spat it back out. "Holy shit! What'd you put in this? Hot sauce!?!"

Oh, did I forget to mention that I like spicy foods?

"It's only some pepper. It won't kill you."

He gave me a look, but ate it.

"Now, where to begin...?"

"How 'bout how I got here. Can you tell me that?"

I nodded. "Yes I can. You are here because I almost killed you."

He spit the soup out of his mouth. "What the hell!?! You tried to kill me!?! You bastard! I'll kill the shit out of you!"

"Look boyo, you are in no condition to fight me! Now let me explain—"

"Where's Lucifer!?!" He rapidly hit buttons on his watch. "LUCIFER!!!" He screamed. "LUCIFER!!! LUCIFER!!!"

"Oh, for the love of Eve," I cursed. "CALM DOWN!"

He seemed startled by my outburst. "What did you do to Lucifer?" he asked quietly.

"Who is this Lucifer? You have yet to tell me."

"Lucifer is my partner."

"What does he look like?"

"He's an organoid. Really dark blue, almost black—"

"It's a what? An organoid!?" I yelled. I thought organoids no longer existed. The whole world thought they no longer existed! So what the hell is he doing with one in his possession!?!

"Yes," Diego said nodding. "An organoid. Where is he?"

"Boyo, do you understand the problems you could cause with an organoid? If people were to find out, the world would want to take it from you! Scientists, zoid enthusiasts, zoid warriors, and thieves much like yourself!! For all we know, that bloody Backdraft group could still be at large! They would stop at nothing until—"

"Look," he yelled back. "I can take of myself, and so can Lucifer! The two of us are unstoppable! No one can separate us! Not even your fuckin' Backdraft group! Now where's my organoid!?!"

He doesn't understand. Who in the hell raised this kid without telling him the value of an organoid!?! Huh, who taught this kid that stealing was ok?

"Diego," I said slowly. "I don't know where your friend is. When I took you out of that Spinnosappa you were the only one there besides myself. I saw no organoid."

"But he was in the Spinnosappa," he said, getting frantic again. "He melded with it! He's probably still inside!"

I suddenly felt an odd compassion right then and there. This boy, though a thief, was young and confused. That organoid seems to mean a lot to him, so I'm going to do whatever I can to get it back.

"Boyo." He looked back at me. "I'm going to need you to stay here for a couple days. Can you do that for me?"

He shook his head. "No way man!"

"Why not?" I demanded.

"I need to get Lucifer ba—"

"You needn't worry about that, boyo. I'll take care of that for you."

He looked at me, utterly confused. "Why?"

"Because I need something to do."

"Why are you helping me?"

"Boyo, sometimes you just need to accept things without knowing 'why.' And by the way," I said. "Here's your music." I passed him the Walkman.

"Uh, thanks."

"Now stay here, and I'll come back later with your Lucifer."

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So how'd you fools like it? For those of you who have read my last fic, Zoids: Warhorse, I hope this one is living up to your expectations. I'm sorry I took that last on down. I know you guys enjoyed it.

But while I'm here, I'd like to mention that only about a third of the people reading this fic are actually reviewing for it. Look guys, writers need your insight and opinions! It's your responsibility as a reader to tell them that kind of shit. What do you like, what don't you like? I'll take anything! Flames are accepted, but I'd appreciate constructive criticism. Tell me what you don't like and WHY you don't like it. Praise is always accepted with open arms. Hey, you review for my shit, I review for your shit! Sounds pretty fair to me.


	3. Chapter 3

ME (Mercenary Pen): Actually, the zoid Spinnosappa/Spinosapper can be spelt either way. The original name for it was Spinnosappa, which is also how it was pronounced on the show, but the name changed to Spinosapper. I doesn't really matter how it's spelt, we're all talkin' about the same thing.

I'd also like to say that I too hate songfics, but THAT my friend is a kickass song!

(fire inu): Glad you like Clive. I was trying to make him a likeable person. And it would be cool to have a LuciferPOV chapter, but I'm not sure if that'll happen yet. Oh well, we'll just wait and see where the wind blows. ;)

(Bluefly7): No, sorry. Warhorse is dead. I killed it.

_Warhorse_: NO! Help me! I'm dying!!!

ME (Bluefly7): "Let's see, who will be next. Maybe, the rookie?"

Dammit! How the hell did you know!?! Stalker. You suck. Hmph. Goin' around, readin' my mind. That's a friggin' violation!

S'all right. I'm just jokin'. You're cool.

_Warhorse_: Help me!

ME: Jesus Christ bitch! You're already dead! Help will do you no good! So do the world a favor, and shut your friggin' mouth!

_Warhorse_: Fine! I hate you!

ME: That's ok. I'm sure you're not alone on that. There's probably a club out there for mean people who wanna kill me. It's probably the same organization that took my fuckin' name. Bastards.

_Warhorse_: I'm sorry. But look on the bright side; they didn't take your pride.

ME: ...? What?

_Warhorse_: Your pride. You still have it.

ME: Just shut up.

_Warhorse_: NO! I won't! ((Starts to sing "I've Been Working On The Railroad" really, really loud.))

ME: Oh God! I'm starting Chapter 3 now!

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Zoids: FUBAR

Chapter 3

Fiora

"What!?!" I demanded. "Whadda ya mean you don't have my Spinnosappa!?!"

"I'm sorry," the man at the counter said, putting his hands up. "I told you: your zoid was stolen last night! Didn't you see the news?"

"I'm only sixteen! I don't watch the news!"

"I'm sorry," he said again. "We have other zoids. I got a Gun Sniper, brand new, or a Pteras."

"I don't want any of those!" This is getting exasperating. "I want my Spinnosappa!" I've been saving up for one for weeks! This can't be happening! Why that zoid? Why last night? God! If I just come to pick it up yesterday....

"Look Miss, I'll try to order you another one, but it may take a while—"

"Just forget it," I sighed. "I'll take the Gun Sniper."

I should be happy right? I mean, I got a brand spankin' new Sniper, fully loaded arsenals, and a huge discount, but.... It's not my Spinnosappa; you know what I'm saying? I really had my eye on that ever since I saw one kickin' ass on TV. Big zoid battle. The Zabor Fangs against the Schneidet Team. That also inspired me to maybe... you know. Make it as a zoid pilot. But only with one of those glorious Spinnosappas.

So I high-tailed it to the nearest For-Sale Garage and, since they didn't carry those particular zoids in this area, ordered one.

That was a month ago.

When my precious zoid finally got in yesterday, I was too busy to pick it up. I was filling out papers for my zoid gear/license. So I told myself, "I'll grab it tomorrow."

But damn. If only I'd gone yesterday!

I eyed the Gustav that brought my new Gun Sniper out. The zoid was a mixture of dark greens and earthy browns. Like camouflage. I couldn't help but smile. Sure, it's not my Spinnosappa, but it's still my zoid. I'll see if I can't use it to the best of its abilities.

I looked out toward the horizon. The sun was at its high point, heating up the humid summer air. I sighed. Long day.

Hold one. What's going on down there?

I stepped toward the side of a steep cliff. Oh no! That's my Spinnosappa! Or, what's left of it at least.

I found a narrow deer trail and followed it down to the bottom of the pit. There was a group of men around the demolished zoid. Good grief. Its head was almost sliced in two! And look at its back. Ish! My heart felt as though someone pierced it with a dagger. Who did this!?!

As I got closer I could make out some of the men's conversation.

"Did you find any trace of this organoid after the attack?"

"No. Why?"

The first man shifted slightly, as though feeling uncomfortable. "It's research. Uh, for a friend."

"Oh come on, Clive," the second man said lightheartedly. "It's ok to admit that you're curious. Hell, who isn't? An organoid? Wow!"

"Yes, yes."

"But back to business," the second man repeated. "Did you manage to get the dirty little thief?"

The first man, Clive I guess, shifted again. "No. Unfortunately not. He ran into the forest before I could get him."

"Didn't you go after him?"

"I'm not as young as I used to be Geoffrey."

"I meant with your wolf."

"The forest is too thick for any zoid to fit into it! You know that well enough."

Geoffrey nodded. "True."

There was a pause. Then Clive asked, "Geoffrey, is there any chance I could, oh... take this busted up thing off your hands for you?"

"What? Why? What are you gonna do with a zoid like this? It's beyond repair now!"

"I know, I know," he said. "But you know me. I just want to investigate."

"Whatever works Clive," Geoffrey shrugged.

How dare he!?! That zoid is mine, whether or not it's destroyed! He can't just take it! I won't stand for it!

"Excuse me," I yelled, coming forward. "But that Spinnosappa is mine! If anyone's going to be taking it, it's going to be me."

They looked surprised. "Pardon me Miss?" the older man, Clive said.

I took a moment to observe these men. Clive, was older, maybe his mid-forties, tall, with soft gray eyes, and nicely cut silvery-black hair. He had a long, Roman nose and over all very gentle features. He looked peaceful and sweet.

The other man, Geoffrey, however, was short, stout, typical security guard type. Like the kind of man you'd see in a cop suit eating donuts on the job. Just looking at him made me want to do something bad. Just to make him angry.

But with Clive, no. You wanted to be really nice. You wanted to bid him good day and introduce yourself. He seemed like a very nice man with nothing to hide, no secrets to keep, who you just want to be friends with. He's just that way.

But what do I know? I've never really spoken directly to him.

"That zoid," I continued. "Is rightfully mine. I believe I should be the one taking it, not you."

"Well young lady, this zoid won't do you much good. It's useless now. Soon to be sent to the scrap heap where its parts shall be removed and recycled to construct other zoids. New zoids. Better zoids."

"Then why on Zi are you so interested in it?"

"Well my dear, as a zoid pilot myself, I try as best I can to discover all I can about other zoids, so if I ever find myself against one in battle I can devise a plan to defeat it."

"Really?"

"Yes. Really. That and... I've always been a bit of a 'Curious George' so to speak. Anything new fascinates me. The idea of there being something on this world I've never heard of appalls me, and motivates me to study it."

Hmm. It all makes sense.

Wait! No it doesn't! He's sweet talkin' me with that silky voice of his! How dare he! "I'm sorry," I said, trying to be strong. "But this zoid belongs to me, and I refuse to let you have it."

"Young lady," he said. "How about we reach an agreement? If you let me take this old hunk of junk, I'll buy you a new zoid. Anything you want!"

I raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

I know I've already got a Gun Sniper, but the idea of me getting a Spinnosappa was just too much!

He nodded. "Really."

I smiled. "You've got yourself a deal."

"Alright then. I'll be leaving—"

"Not so fast," I yelled. "I'm going with you."

"What?"

"Yes. How do I know you'll live up to your word?"

"I have to, otherwise you'll sue me!"

"I'm going with you! Only until you get me my Spinnosappa."

"Must you be so difficult?"

"I must. I must."

He shook his head. "This won't work at all," he mumbled to himself. "I've got a foolish boy, and now a stubborn young girl. This won't work at all."

I stood in front of him, my arms crossed over my chest. You're damn right I'm stubborn!

He looked at my. "Please don't put me in this position. I beg you."

"Too bad," I said. "It's not my problem."

He cursed and paced back and forth as some people in zoids picked the destroyed Spinnosappa up and heaved in onto a Gustav. I watched them out of the corner of my eye, but kept my attention on Clive.

"Well," I said, growing impatient. "Are we leaving or not?"

He gave me a stern look. "I'm afraid I can't allow you to come with me."

I narrowed my eyes. "I think you can."

"I think I can't."

"I think you're hiding something."

"I think you're right."

I hid a smile. "What are you hiding?"

He shook his head. "Forget I ever said anything."

He has a secret, and I intend to find out what it is. We'll meet again someday. Someday soon.

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ME: So whadda ya think of Fiora?

_Warhorse_: I think she's a brat. Go away!

ME: Yes. I was going for brat.

_Warhorse_: Oh... dammit!

ME: What? Did you wanna insult me or something?

_Warhorse_: No. No. It's just—

ME: Just what?

_Warhorse_: Nothing.

ME: Whatever you say man. Anyway, R&R! I'm sure you know how this shit works, but I really need more reviews. See ya on the battlefield!

_Warhorse_: "On the battlefield?" Oh that is so gay.


	4. Chapter 4

ME (Bluefly7): Are you upset cuz Warhorse died? I'm sorry.

But I was considering possibly writing a new and improved version of Warhorse. Or taking Riotball (a Warhorse game I made up) and turning it into my own version of zoids.

(Mercenary Pen): Yes. I'm glad you liked it. I'm doing my best to connect all the characters, so them meeting each other makes you ask, "Coincidence? Or is it fate?"

_Warhorse_ (Mercenary Pen): Insignificant? ME!?! How dare you! ((Hides in corner and sobs.))

**Blackie the Black Blade Liger**: Ha! Baby!

ME: Yes, this is my pet Blade Liger. He goes by Blackie, BB, or just Liger.

**Blackie**: Yes. It's a pleasure to meet you all! Let me tell you a little bit about myself. I'm a Blade Liger. I am D-m-n-w-t's pet, friend, and partner in crime. I work for the Guardian Force as a secret agent and my current mission is to assist D-m-n-w-t in writing this fic. While I'm here I'm also supposed to lead the menacing "Metallic Felines for Puppy Stoning" organization. Or just MFPS. We are the same people who took D-m-n-w-t's name.

ME: What the hell!?! That was you!?!

**Blackie**: Yes.

ME: Bastard!

**Blackie**: ((Ignores D-m-n-w-t)) My hobbies include knitting, taking long walks on the beach, getting seriously drunk, decapitating small birds, raping babies, and stoning puppies.

ME: ...Mental note: don't piss him off.

_Warhorse_: He's a loony.

ME: Yup. And a blow jobbing name-stealer!!!

_Warhorse_: Wow. What a cock bite.

**Blackie**: Oh yeah! When you get me mad, I bite you balls off.

ME: I'm so glad I'm a girl.

_Warhorse_: I have no gender. I'm neutral.

**Blackie**: Well, if you happen to be a girl like D-m-n-w-t, I rape you!

ME: But you can't rape me! I'm writing the fuckin' story! It's my fault you even exist!

_Warhorse_: What!?! You made this evil creature!?!

**Blackie**: Do me a favor? FLAME!!! If you want to write a review, make it a flamer! That way I have an excuse to bite off your balls/rape the shit outa' you!

ME: This is retarded; I'm starting the fic.

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Zoids: FUBAR

Chapter 4

(This one's for you fire inu!)

Lucifer

Run. That's what he needed to do. Run as fast as his robotic legs can carry him. That's what Diego told him. Lucifer remembered the moment well: ((FLASHBACK))

"If anything happens to me," Diego had said. "Run Lucifer. Go back to Rembmer's Coliseum and stay with Sven and Axel."

((END FLASHBACK))

It had been their first mission together, and a very dangerous one at that. They had to sneak inside another thieves' base and steal their most valuable zoid. The Blitz Tiger.

Sure. That was a long time ago (three years), but the rules still apply. If Diego gets into trouble, Lucifer had to find Axel and Sven. Diego's most trusted friends.

But Lucifer couldn't help feeling guilty about leaving his Chosen behind. (A/N: I just made up the word Chosen. I figured organoids have to have a word for the people they chose to be with for the rest of their life, so Chosen will do. If you have a better idea would you be so kind as to tell me?)

Rembmer's Coliseum wasn't far off. He could see the huge dome ceiling rising out of the horizon. He ran faster and activated his boosters to increase his speed for that last dash.

The coliseum was just outside the city of Boon and was its main attraction. Tourists from all over came here to see the exciting one-on-one and to-the-death matches that the local zoid pilots took part in. The coliseum was owned by a man named Douglas Rembmer, a very suspicious character. There were several rumors floating around that said Rembmer used to be a part of the Backdraft organization, but no one dared to accuse such a rich man of these crimes. Plus he provided everyone with action and entertainment unparalleled by anyone or anything (other than the ZBC battles that you saw on TV of course).

Lucifer stopped just short of the doors. He knew he wasn't allowed to be seen by anyone other than the people who worked at this place; so he didn't think it would be such a great idea to go charging inside a full coliseum during the battles. He knew he would be caught.

But how to get inside.

He needed to find Sven and Axel if he wanted to help Diego. And helping Diego was at the very top of his Things-To-Do list, so it was vital for him get inside.

He waited for a stroke of brilliance, but nothing came to him. Why did it have to be nighttime? Why couldn't it be high noon or something?

If he didn't hurry, that mysterious zoid would hurt Diego! Or worse! It could kill him!

The very idea made Lucifer panicky and hysterical. He had to find Axel!

He growled to himself. "_Gotta get in there._"

And an idea sprang into his head.

He crouched. Opened his boosters. Charged them. And finally took off, jumping at the dark indigo sky.

He landed on top of the black dome roof. If memory served him correctly, there was a large air vent on the far left that was loose. He walked towards the spot. Below him he could hear the roaring crowd and the gunshots of battling zoids. Yes! It was there. He remembered what Diego told him a long time ago. ((FLASHBACK))

"_This, Lucifer, is our secret entrance."_

_Lucifer growled,_ _"_Why do we need it?_"_

Diego took the screws out of their places. "It's also an escape route too I guess. But we'll call it a secret door for now. It's just between you and me Lucifer! No one else can know so don't tell!"

"How can I tell when nobody can understand what I'm saying when I speak?_"_

((END FLASHBACK))

Yes. But that was so long ago. Only a week after the two had met. Diego was only eight and often did crazy things like that with Lucifer. Things that wouldn't normally matter.

Until now.

Lucifer clamped his jaws around the small handle that opened the vent. He pulled up, and with some effort, managed to open it. He let himself fall onto the uppermost floor of the coliseum. The floor where only employees where allowed.

"Lucifer? Is that you?"

Lucifer spun and found himself facing Sven, Diego's best friend. "_Where's Axel? Diego's in trouble!_" Lucifer roared.

Sven cocked his head. Humans are so... stupid. Why couldn't they understand organoid speech?

"Is something wrong?" Sven asked. "Where's Diego at?"

Lucifer growled in annoyance. He ran past Sven in search of Axel. Axel would know what to do. He always was the brains of the outfit.

It wasn't long before Lucifer found what he was looking for. But who was that man Axel was speaking with? Lucifer didn't recognize him. The man was tall, broad shouldered. Looked like the type of man you wouldn't want to cross. He had big hands that were curled up into fists and muscular arms to match. He had hard, stone-cold gray eyes and flaming red hair. Lucifer stayed at a distance, hidden behind the corner of a wall. He would approach Axel after this man left.

"The Spinnosappa you asked for should be here soon," Axel was saying to the stranger. "Diego's never failed before."

They were talking about the job. This was no surprise to Lucifer. The whole place was run by thieves, why should this be a surprise?

"I hope you're right," the stranger said.

"I'm sure I am," Axel assured him.

"His organoid," the mystery man started.

"Yes?"

"We may need it."

Axel gave him a questioning look. "What for?"

The man narrowed his eyes. "You know what I mean. We've had this discussion before! Das Bose Schwarz!"

Axel looked down almost guiltily. "Rembmer, I can't.... How can we separate those two? Diego and Lucifer are never apart."

So this was Rembmer? What did he mean, "We may need the organoid?" Lucifer found himself growing uncomfortable. He didn't like where this was going.

"Besides," Axel continued. "Only two Ultimate Xs have been discovered, while there are records of four organoids. Wouldn't it be easier just to find another one of those four? Why do we have to build our own?"

"Because we don't know where the other ones are!" Rembmer yelled. "And besides, the more the merrier. If we can successfully construct and Ultimate X zoid, _and_ find the remaining two, it will be that much easier to bring down the Berserk Fuhrer for good!"

What!?! They were building an Ultimate X? And they were going to use Lucifer to do it?

_I need to get out of here_, Lucifer thought to himself.

He slowly turned around, trying to stay as quiet as possible. He had never felt so afraid. If he didn't get out of here fast, he may never see Diego again.

As soon as he facing the right direction, he ran down the hall. It didn't matter who saw him anymore.

He heard cries of surprise as he tore past employees, and thought for sure he heard the man named Rembmer yell, "Get that zoid!"

This was too easy. He was so much faster than everyone else it was funny. He would be gone; out the hatch in no time.

But... where _is_ the hatch?

He couldn't remember. Had he passed it already? Was it just up ahead? Had he run in the wrong direction? He didn't know.

There was a hissing BANG and Lucifer felt fiery pain shoot through his leg. Someone just shot him! Damn, they're desperate!

He took a sharp turn and leapt off the side of the railing down into the middle of a zoid battle. It was the Dibison vs. the Lightning Saix. Lucifer decided that since his mission was to get out as fast as possible he melded with the Saix.

The minute his body was the same as the zoid's, he high-tailed it outa there, despite the pilot's confused cries.

"Hey what's goin' on!?!" the Saix's pilot screamed. "STOP!!! STOOOP!!!"

Lucifer had had enough and ejected the pilot from the cockpit. The last thing he needed was some lunatic messing with the controls while he was trying to make an escape.

People were screaming so loud that he almost didn't hear the gunshots.

SHOOPOW! SHOOPOW!

Whoa! That Dibison was firing missiles at him! No problem, just a little boost would clear that problem right up (no pun intended).

Lucifer activated the boosters on the back of the zoid's rifle and rocketed forward at impossible speed. In a bit he would be out the battlefield gates and in the garage, where he could precede to the outdoors.

But hold on. They were closing the gates. That's not good. He ran harder. If he could just get past those gates....

Ach! Barely made it! He was practically home free!

BZZZ

BZEZ

BZZZ

Huh? Diego?

He felt a small, tickling vibration in his stomach. Diego? Where is he?

He opened up the tracking system on the Lightning Saix's computer. From here he could pinpoint the exact location of Diego's distress signals. Piece of cake.

But damn. He was far away. At least a two days run, even with the Saix. Oh well. The journey of a thousand miles begins with one footstep.

And off he ran.

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ME: Alright, for those of you who haven't guessed yet, the little vibration signal things were from Diego beating his watch in chapter 2.

**Blackie**: This story sucks! There's no black blade liger! There's not even a blade liger at all!

ME: Too bad. Get over yourself.

_Warhorse_: YEAH!

ME: Anyway. We all know the routine. R&R—

**Blackie**: Don't forget to flame!


End file.
